I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
