UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize