R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
