Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
