So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize