Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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