Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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