Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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