She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
