How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
