OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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