wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Randomize