Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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