How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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