You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
