wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
