So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
