It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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