Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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