He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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