She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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