Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize