If i come over, it means nothing
My hand turned me down
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
