I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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