why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
