the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
