rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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