I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
