PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
