so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I love having hate sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
