I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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