I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
