normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
