I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
