If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
