Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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