Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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