I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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