Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
