YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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