I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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