It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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