my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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