Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
