Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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