How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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