he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
