I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
