she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
