Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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