I heard we made out
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
