there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
