My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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