Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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