We're like a lot better than the average bears
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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