actually, I'm a sock model
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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