and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
