Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(518): View more from New York

College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.

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(815): View more from Illinois

at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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(847): View more from Illinois

stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.

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(708): View more from Illinois

is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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(718): View more from New York

I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho

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(310): View more from California

Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend

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