How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
