i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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