if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
